2013 Chastity Bites

FILM -- Chastity Bites

Thursday, February 27, 2014Zena Horror


This film was released recently and I thought it fit perfectly with the films I've been reviewing for  Women in Horror Month!!!

The film opens up like a standard horror movie; a teenage couple are in a convertible at night in the middle of the woods sucking face. The stereotypical jock boyfriend desperately wants to take things further with his girlfriend, but the girlfriend makes it clear, "The only true safe sex is no sex!" Two seconds later her throat is slit and there is blood gushing all over her screaming boyfriend's face!

Diving right in after the credits, we open to San Griento High School in a non-existent town, though I suppose it's suppose to be San Diego....or somewhere lovely in California. Anyhow, right away we meet the stereotypical beautiful, skanky and snobby girls: Kelly, Ashley, Britney and Noemi. We also meet two other teens who are on the opposite side from the first group of girls; Leah a feminist, who is a student journalist aspiring to be a professional journalist. And then we have Leah's timid best friend Katherine, who draws flowers on her face to try and cover up her zits. But if you ask me, that only brought more attention to her zits...then again, nobody asked me.




Parents are concerned that their high school daughters are having sex way too soon; so to try to educate and encourage the girls to remain abstinent, they recruit a beautiful yet mysterious European woman named Liz Batho. Liz has set up an abstinence club called Virginity Action Group...VAG. This club will enroll all virgin girls and somehow the four mean girls as Chastity Leaders In Training...CLIT. Liz has full support of the parents, mean girls and majority of the community simply because they all feel that Liz has connections and they want to be the next reality stars! Overtime, Leah grows to suspect that Liz may have sinister motives, which in my opinion, she is allowed to. Liz survives off the blood of virgins and has been for years. Now, she has own her personal blood bank!



Overall, I did enjoy this horror comedy and would definitely recommend it. I felt that the director John Knowles and his wife Lotti Knowles make a great team! I absolutely loved the dialogue in the film; there's plenty of cattiness being thrown around. The film reminds me of a mixture between Heathers (1988) and Mean Girls (2004)! The characters in the film were all entertaining, appealing and likeable. My favorite character was Leah (Allison Scagliotti). She was by far one of the most appealing heroine's I ever watched on screen. I also liked Ashley (Amy Okuda), she was my favorite mean girl! I've seen the plot before, making it slightly predictable; however, it was still entertaining. Something else I liked about the film was how it tried to remain a mystery as of who was doing these murders when it was very obvious. Due to that, it reminded me of an 80's slasher!




Aside from the plot being predictable, my only major complaint was the lack of gore. I can admit, I adore gore, it makes me feel alive when I see it on screen. However! If the film is based on 
Countess Elizabeth Bathory, who tortured and murdered women for fun, and history said she bathed in their blood to make herself more beautiful and young, then more blood was definitely needed, or at least, I was expecting more blood. I wanted to see more than throat slashing. Perhaps I'm spoiled!

Chastity Bites is not a bad film. It kept me engaged. Just know when you're watching it, not to take it too serious because it is, after all, a comedy-horror!

3 out 5 queen skulls!

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