Wednesday, October 24, 2018

SCREAM-A-GEDDON: Tampa Bay, Florida's Scariest Haunted House

Scream-a-Geddon FOURTH year in a row.

Sadly, a few days are left before Scream-a-Geddon leaves 2018. I have attended this event four years in a row, with every year surprising me. Yes, I live thirty minutes away, but the real treat is the reasonable admission price, almost a third of other attractions that often provide less thrills. Furthermore, Scream-a-Geddon offers six attractions, all with the intent (and most with the success) of devouring your wellbeing.

Rage 3-D was the first attraction I sped to this year. Initially, you expect clowns to just laugh and yell at you in this house, but imagine them in a 3-D environment that they blend into when it’s convenient for them—and out of when it’s inconvenient for you. And that’s as soon as you walk through the door. Now travel deeper and you discover a rotating room and a room of hundreds of dead (or living dead) clowns.

The next attraction was the new Zombie Paintball Assault. It entailed shooting zombies with paintballs while someone yelled at you about saving the world. The actors and hosts rocked, but the paint and slow moving zombies didn’t do it for me. This attraction replaced the previous years’ Haunted Hayride, which involved a vehicle moving so slow that cannibals, gun-slinging cowboys, and even dragons could capture you. I also longed for the people on ziplines with chainsaws and promises to split your cranium in two. Now that I type this, I realize that I am asking for much. However, the pain is real once you realize that what you had before—is no more.

Blackpool Prison was the third attraction on the night’s bucket list. This one is always cool, excelling because of the dedicated actors that separate you from your group if you agree to wear a glow stick around your neck. Since I’m a BAWSE, I chose the glow stick. This ended in me being shoved into a cell, separated from my husband who waved and shouted, “I’ll pray for you,” as he exited the complex.

Dead Woods was the fourth one we visited. It had a family of cannibals, which terrified and delighted me. First, I’ll address the terrified part. The only light offered was a glow stick that illuminated no more than two-inches in all directions. You had to step over the threshold of a stranger’s shadowy home, tiptoe past blood and torture, survive to the back of the home, re-enter the darkest Florida woods, and enter another rundown home. The amusement came from the actors, who either promised to commit atrocious acts to you if you stayed in their home, or begged you to save them from their tormentors. From behind one curtain, a girl whispered, “Please take me with you,” which I laughed at because of the laidback tone of her voice.

Demon’s Revenge was fourth. My time in line creeped me out the most as the large church we waited to enter, lit dim before the blackest sky. I want to tell so much about this attraction; however, I will offer a whiff of the evil through a girl I observed, confident as she led us and her boyfriend through the house until she stepped into a room, realized what was before her, and hurried behind her boyfriend to hide her face in his back until we reached the exit. I couldn’t blame her. My confidence abandoned me as well when I entered this room.

At the last house, Infected Ground Zero, I discovered that I don’t love my husband as much as I promised on our wedding day. One of us had to go in that body bag. So, while my husband tried to ramble his way from the persuasive and blood-drenched doctor, I escaped to the end of the house and hoped for the best regarding our future together.

So far, this is the best year for Scream-a-Geddon. If you find yourself in the Tampa Bay area before November 4th, definitely check out this horror treat.

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